Idiot's Delight: Fake Lottery Tickets

Do you know any idiots? Perhaps you work with one or are related to an idiot. If so, one day you may find yourself scratching a bogus lottery ticket.

Web "entrepreneurs" are selling a wide variety of fake lottery scratch off tickets. Unlike gag gifts of the past, these are quality imitations of the real thing. They look like a real ticket, they scratch like a real ticket and unlike a real ticket, the scratcher "wins" every time.

On the back, fine print tells the "winner" to collect their winnings from their: Mamma, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc.

The gag is often played by mixing the bogus ticket in with an assortment of real scratch off tickets given as a gift. Or the fake ticket is left in a public space such as on a break room table at work. Lottery players need to be aware of this gag, look your gift horse in the mouth when it comes to lottery tickets.

There is also no reason to assume the fake lottery scratch off tickets can not be used in the common lottery ticket swindle.

The mark is approached outside a location where lottery tickets are sold. The mark is informed the con person is holding a winning lottery ticket they can't collect on because they are an illegal immigrant or other nonsense. The con person will offer to sell you the winning ticket for a fraction of the face value.

If there is any hesitation on the mark's part, a second con person waiting near by will offer to accept the deal instead. The original con person will insist you were offered the deal first, but suggest the two of you share the cost of buying the bogus winning ticket. Of course the con-artists are only moving money from one pocket to the other, your money they will split.

Please don't consider this article to be detracting from the important contribution the gag industry makes to American culture. Whether you buy your snappy gum, foaming sugar cubes or rubber bugs from the back of a comic book, the local magic shop or the internet, you are helping the world to snicker. ARCHiE McPHEE: All your rubber chicken needs are here.

The point is not to commit impractical jokes that hurt people.

If you think it would be funny to squirt lighter fluid on a bag of poop to set on fire, ring the crazy neighbor's door bell and run away expecting he will rush out and stamp on the fire. Consider he probably did the same thing as a kid and is coming around the side of the house with a shotgun to blow your fool head off. ;-) Always think it through.

Good luck to you. Lotto-Logix